Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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