You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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