Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
