And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I think my vagina is haunted
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
