I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
