Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
