i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
