I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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