I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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