I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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