Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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