I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
