okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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