what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize