We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
