Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
