as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
