There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
