I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
