Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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