her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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