No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
