I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize