I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
