Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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