i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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