you have to choose: penises or morals?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
