I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
