She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My dick has a subreddit
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
