I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
