Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
there was a trapeze. enough said
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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