Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
