Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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