This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
