everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
