I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
