would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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