I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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