Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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