so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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