took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
