I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
