she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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