What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
