its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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