my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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