So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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