Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize