yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
