Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize