And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
