Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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