So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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