Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
