no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
