Whats the glycemic index on semen?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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