i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
