Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
