tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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