you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
