physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
